“Unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers labor in vain.” Ps. 127:1

Last night I got the privilege to work in Urban Kids and hang out with the cutest little boy on the face of the planet.  We were playing with all sorts of toys when all of a sudden he honed in on the big lego blocks. Now I have like four boy cousins and two of them I watched since they were babies and if there is one thing I know is that all little boys love blocks or block like toys. So we played legos. At first he did not quite know how to work the blocks so I started off a little foundation so that he could run for it. Once he started building all he wanted to do is build up except he being a baby had no idea that you can’t just build strait up without any organization. Every time he got to a certain point it would topple over because he did not have the concept of how to make his tower a reality.

As he continued to build and watch it topple over relentlessly I struggled for a moment on whether or not to help him. I wanted him to be able to do it, but I also recognized that he most likely would not be able to accomplish it without help from someone who knew how to make the tower work and could see the bigger picture. I came to the conclusion that it would be better to help him than not. At first he got frustrated with me because I would move a lego he had already placed, sometimes I would grab a lego he had and put it where it needed to go and other times I would show him where to put the piece. After the first few minutes of frustration though he kind of just let me help him and when we finished the tower he was so excited.

Shortly thereafter he fell asleep and sitting there listening to VeggieTales in the background and trying not to fall asleep as well I heard God speak and say that building our dream is just like Bishop building the tower. Unless the Lord builds the house our work is wasted time and effort. It’s just like the little boy putting those blocks together only to watch them fall over and over again. We have these dreams and passions to build them and we try to reach them to the sky and we do everything in our power to make them stand up. Sometimes we try to jimmy-rig it so that it fits together even if not correctly because we want to do it ourselves and yet we wonder why it keeps falling down and falling through. They are good dreams and most even God dreams but once God has given and inspired the dream we force him out of the plan and try to do it with our own power and not always intentionally but they my way or the highway mentality sneaks in and pretty soon we are watching our dream crash to the ground yet again.

Our dream is not wrong or in defective it is just that God knows where the blocks need to be placed to make the dream work. He can see the bigger picture and has built more towers so he knows better than we do and wants to help make it a reality. God still wants to build the house, but he knows that unless he guides us and helps us our effort is going to be wasted and we will get discouraged. At first it’s frustrating when we give over the building for God to guide. He keeps taking pieces out of our hands or picks a different piece that we did not really want to use or moves things that we already placed in our life. It hurts to not understand why those pieces are being moved, rearranged or thrown out all together and we cannot fathom that what He is doing is actually getting the tower higher and closer to becoming a reality.

The difference is that this time the work is not wasted though sometimes it feels like it is taking longer we are finally moving closer to seeing our dream a reality.  Then just like Bishop we finally look up and our tower is complete.  I know it was just a silly little tower I helped Bishop build that two seconds later we obliterated by knocking it down, but it was still so rewarding to see him so happy over that silly little tower.  He did not sit there grumbling that it was not the way he planned it or that I helped him, etc. He simply smiled and clapped at the finished product.

Psalm 37:4 states that we should delight ourselves in the Lord and he will give us the desires of our heart. Delight yourself in the Lord, give him the reigns to draw up the blueprints, let Him build the house because the reciprocal of that verse is Psalm 37:23, “The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.” Trust God with your desires and dreams and I promise you that he will direct your steps, give you the desires of your heart and make sure that all your labor is not in vain because he delights not just in some areas of your life but in every detail that makes up your life he takes delight in.

Beloved,

Listen to me. Listen to your Father. Do not cast what I have to say aside or take them lightly. My words are weighty and I do not speak them idly. Take heart to what I have to say. Do not just hear the words I have to say with your ears, letting my words merely resound in your head before disappearing into the air. Rather listen with your heart open your ears and your eyes spiritually to hear what your Heavenly Father is speaking to you. Hear me with your soul and spirit not just your mind.

Forget your people. Forget your so-called friends. Forget the stereotypes. Forget the media. Forget the voices of society. Forget your peers. Forget your bosses. Forget. I do not want you to remember or recall their words or actions.  I am calling you to forget. Forget the things you’ve been taught to do or say. Forget the things that seem like a good idea or the right thing to do. Forget the protocols and the plans. Forget your family. Forget the words spoken with good intentions. Forget the criticism and the means wells.  Forget the stabs in the backs. Forget those things that have hurt you most yet you cannot undo. Forget.

Remember Me. Remember your Royal Husband.  Remember my Word and the words I have spoken about you. Remember that it was I that formed and fashioned you in your mother’s womb. Remember the beauty that is my creation. Remember the awestruck wonder that I feel when I look upon you. Remember my thoughts about you that cannot be numbered. Remember my actions towards you. Remember the love that I had for you that to save you I gave my son so that I might get to know you. Remember me. There is no room for anything else; I call you to forget so that you can remember me more.

Your Royal Husband delights in your beauty. You are beautiful. You are unique and created for a special purpose. I did not create you to look, act or think like anyone else. Only you can be you. Stop looking in the mirror, believing the lie of the enemy. You look in the mirror and see imperfections and room for improvement. I look down upon you and weep because you allow yourself to see through the enemy’s lens. You trust more in what the world says about you than what your Father says about you. Your actions and thoughts towards yourself call me a liar. You take your self-worth out of my hands and toss it into man’s hands where it was never supposed to be. You hide it in faux confidence and control. You hope that while all attention is on you and your tightrope walk of self-control and the illusion of confidence that they will not see it for a smoke and mirrors act.

Daughter you grieve me. I have called you beautiful. I created you to walk with me and be part of my Bride. To be my special creation, chosen by me to walk beside me as royalty, holy and set apart. I am not man that I should lie. Do you choose to trust in man’s definition of who you are or will you finally trust me?

Honor me. Honor me for I am your Lord. Honor me with the words you speak about yourself. Honor me with your actions towards yourself. Honor me with your thoughts toward yourself. Honor me each morning when you look in the mirror. Honor me by trusting me and ignoring the whispers of the enemy. Honor me by seeing whom I see. Honor me by serving me not with fake confidence and a show, but by a quiet confidence in humility and submission. Honor me by affirming my work, my creation. Honor me for I am your Lord.

Beloved, listen to me for I loved you fiercer and more sacrificially than any man and trust me for I desire to delight you just as you have delighted me. I want to give you good things because I love you and you are beautiful and complex and intricately created to be you and not any other.

Love,

Your Father, Your Lord, Your Ishi

(Written using the scriptures of Psalm 139 and Psalm 45. Something God laid on my heart and wanted to share it all with you.)

Alayna Mills

There was no water for the people to drink at that place, so they rebelled against Moses and Aaron. The people blamed Moses and said, “If only we had died in the Lord’s presence with our brothers! Why have you brought the congregation of the Lord’s people into this wilderness to die, along with all our livestock? Why did you make us leave Egypt and bring us here to this terrible place? This land has no grain, no figs, no grapes, no pomegranates, and no water to drink!” Moses and Aaron turned away from the people and went to the entrance of the Tabernacle, where they fell face down on the ground. Then the glorious presence of the Lord appeared to them, and the Lord said to Moses, “You and Aaron must take the staff and assemble the entire community. As the people watch, speak to the rock over there, and it will pour out its water. You will provide enough water from the rock to satisfy the whole community and their livestock.” So Moses did as he was told. He took the staff from the place where it was kept before the Lord. Then he and Aaron summoned the people to come and gather at the rock. “Listen, you rebels!” he shouted. “Must we bring you water from this rock?” Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So the entire community and their livestock drank their fill. But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!” This place was known as the waters of Meribah (which means “arguing”) because there the people of Israel argued with the Lord, and there he demonstrated his holiness among them. Numbers 20:2-13

Three weeks ago Ben began his new series, “Living Life in the Red Zone,” and so far it has been an incredible series. I hope you all have been able to be a part of it either with us in service or at least through video or podcast because I know personally it’s been one of the most practical but challenging messages. The very first week of this series he made this statement that cut me to the core and it was this, “We stop playing to win and start playing not to lose.” Ouch! Right? I do not know about you but personally I went home licking my wounds a little bit.

I will do my best to be transparent and open with you and try to explain the context of why that statement hit me the way it did. I have been trying/talking about doing something for a while again. It would be very easy for me to do it too. I would enjoy it and I could be good at it plus it would fulfill some parts of where I would like to be ultimately. However no matter what I do or say to start accomplishing this task I feel as though I should not be proceeding with it because the grace and call of God is not on my life for that. So for the past few months and really most of the last few years I have been trying to generate excitement and passion for something I am not sure I am even supposed to be doing.

Finally right before this message about which I speak a really good friend reluctantly told me about a dream she had and honestly I don’t know if she originally realized how prophetic she was but instantly I knew it was pertaining to this current situation and myself. I was pregnant with an unwanted pregnancy and stuck, resigned to live with it the rest of my life. The main message was be careful of the dreams you foster and carry. Some dreams we are not supposed to carry or simply we are not supposed to carry them yet. It’s like the saying, “The right man at the wrong time is still the wrong man,” and it is the same with dreams, the right dream at the wrong time is still the wrong dream.

After she shared the dream and I had talked to her about what I felt like it meant, I began sharing what really was my dream. I could never really call it my dream or share it because it was too special to me. I did not want to risk what my peers might think of it and I did not want to have to start working towards it because then it could die or I could fail. I had stopped playing to win.

In this portion of scripture Moses had a problem. The people did not have any water to drink and they had begun complaining yet again. Moses and Aaron go before the Lord in order to find out how God wanted them to solve the problem. God shows up as he is so faithful to do and commands Moses to go out and speak to the rock and then water would pour forth from the rock. What you might not know is that Moses had a great fear of speaking before people. When God instructed Moses to go before Pharaoh, Moses pleaded with God not to have to speak, so God gave Moses Aaron as his mouthpiece. Second thing you might not know is that Moses had already once before been presented with this problem of no water (Exodus 17). The first time God commanded Moses to strike the rock, which Moses did. Moses was comfortable with his staff, it was something he was familiar with. He has seen God use his staff to perform miracles and thus the first time it probably wasn’t much of a stretch to believe that God would make water flow but the second time was much harder. God asked Moses to speak to the rock. He asked Him to step out of his comfort zone, be obedient to God and to have faith that God would be faithful to his Word.

I believe Moses got scared. From personal experience I believe that he probably sincerely did want to be able to speak to that rock and see God perform a miracle, but instead he let fear grip him. I do not think it was necessarily all fear of speaking rather I would suggest that Moses was more afraid of failure. He was afraid of losing and coming to the realization that he really was not called to speak and that it was God’s plan to have Aaron speak all along. He stopped playing to win and started playing not to lose. The scary part is that he struck the rock and water still came out and people drank of it.

Too often we stop playing to win and start playing not to lose and what we are doing continues to work so we don’t stop. We think well the water is still coming out so why change it up? We make it work and keep making “safe” decisions and we lead good lives, we have a good family and it works but we are still left unsatisfied. The thing that most struck my friend in her dream was that even though I had an unwanted pregnancy, I was not devastated by it, rather I was complacent and just resigned to have the baby. How often do we do that to ourselves? We get stuck in jobs that lead to careers we never wanted to have or that are close to what we wanted to do and we just resign ourselves to stay there. We start relationships with people that maybe we know isn’t the right relationship yet we make excuses as why it could be right and later down the road we are in an unfulfilled marriage that we were never meant to be in and the only reason we’re married is out of sheer will power and determination.

God never wanted us to just not lose. God called us to be more than conquerors in Christ. He wants us to lead fulfilled, challenging lives that more than we could have ever imagined. He wants us to live out the desires of our heart. I would hate to get so caught up in not losing that I miss the Promised Land. If you read the end of that scripture God tells Moses that because he got so caught up in not losing and didn’t trust in God enough that he wouldn’t see the Promised Land. I pray that you would not miss your promise/your God-given dream or destiny because of a fear of failure. I am telling you what that will not be me. I realize that there is a possibility of failing but I would rather fail and fall into God’s grace than to forfeit the opportunity to experience God’s goodness and faithfulness altogether.

Praying that you take a chance to win,

Alayna